Iwiscopes

Rangitāne 

It’s your ability to ensure everyone knows you’re from Rangitane that really wows me. Which doesn’t really make sense because nobody knows where it is. However, never lose that ability, it’s what makes you stand out, to be unapologetically from Rangitāne where ever that may be.  

Ngāti Raukawa ki te Tonga 

Are you really part of the Kiingitanga if you’re about 6 hours away? What loyal subjects would make their king travel that far to them? Although I have heard that the dscendants from here are pretty good looking (I’m from here). 

Tuhoe 

Ahakoa he iti, he mana. You need to stop being so mysterious and come on out of the mist to join us in the real world. But maybe this is how you take the world by storm, one revolution at a time and one sin a son at a time. 

Ngāti Toa 

Keep fighting your fight Ngāti Toa one day you’ll be able to claim mana whenua around these ways. Jokes, but for real you guys do so much for iwi and might even one day win at Māoris (National Māori Basketball Tournament for all of you who have never touched a basketball in your life). 

Ngāti Whakaue 

You may have come out near the top at Te Matatini but have you ever really come out on top anywhere else? Let’s be real though what a come back, if anything this goes to show your people are fighters and will go down kicking and screaming, Te Arawa Mangai nui.  

Ngāti Whātua Orākei 

Some might say you guys are too big for your boots, trying to stake your claim on Tamaki Makaurau. But hei aha tena, all your uncles can stake their claim on me any day, any time. NEKE NEKE MAI!!!