Horoscopes #5

Monday 28th–Sunday 3rd 

ARIES: 

The new moon in Aries means there’s plenty of fun to be had. Expect a good weekend and, whatever it is you plan on doing, make sure you drink a lot of water. 

TAURUS: 

Stop stressing the small stuff and working yourself up over the unimportant things. Whatever’s been bothering you is not that deep. Breathe, relax, and keep an open mind. 

GEMINI: 

Your chart ruler Mercury has finally moved out of its place of detriment, so a speedy recovery from that uncharacteristic brain fog you’ve been experiencing lately is on its way. 

CANCER: 

It’s work time, baby. Stop putting off writing that C.V. Stop telling yourself you’ll “get around to applying.” This is the week for job applications because, believe me, everyone’s tired of lending you money. 

LEO: 

Stop waiting, stop delaying, stop procrastinating. Whatever you’ve been scheming, just do it already. The stars don’t even care what it is, they just want your actions to align with your thoughts. 

VIRGO: 

A lot of support from others is available to you right now. Whether it’s finding a study buddy, venting to your best friend, or asking mum to borrow money; your people are here for you.

LIBRA: 

I know you’re feeling impatient but do not rush yourself. I repeat: DO NOT RUSH. You have time, you have the ability, and nothing’s going anywhere. Just breathe with me now... 

SCORPIO: 

Scorpio, we know you’ve been having it a little rough recently. Here is a promise that the worst has passed and you won’t have to rely so heavily on distraction. It’s okay to have guiltless fun. 

SAGITTARIUS: 

Umm, okay, being a homebody is one thing, but never seeing the light of day is another. Get outside and fight that Netflix addiction. If my mum were here, she’d say your eyes have gone square. 

CAPRICORN: 

Try not to argue too much with your siblings, even though they are really damn annoying. If you’re an only child, I’m sorry, but it’s probably you giving off the annoying sibling energy to others. 

AQUARIUS: 

You won’t stop breathing if you go without attention for five minutes. You don’t need to be worshipped to experience joy. I smell god complex. Does anyone know if Kanye’s an Aquarius? 

PISCES: 

Honestly, you’re overthinking it, whatever ‘it’ is.