Horoscopes #4

Aries:

The sun entering the house of self and the moon exiting the house of enemies means you’ll be beating out the competition this week. I know you love that, you competitive thing, you. 

Taurus:

This week, expect to get maximum output from minimum input. You literally don’t have to try and you’ll succeed, no matter what you do. Good for you, I guess.

Gemini:

Resist the urge to self-sabotage. Resist the urge to self-sabotage. Resist the urge to self-sabotage. Resist the urge to self-sabotage. Resist the urge to self-sabotage. 

Cancer:

I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but if you’re waiting for that text back, don’t hold your breath. The third quarter moon in your house of relationships means their interest is waning... 

Leo:

The position of the sun this week signifies exploring the unfamiliar. It could mean something amazing like discovering your spiritual purpose, but more likely, you’ve probably just found another side of TikTok. 

Virgo:

Nitpicking isn’t cute, Virgo, stop it. No one appreciates it. Avoid starting unnecessary fights with the people you care about. Note to self: Learn how to choose my battles. 

Libra:

Remember that your sense of identity shouldn’t come from the opinion of others. Do what you do because you love doing it, not because you like the way it makes you appear to your friends. 

Scorpio:

The stars are telling you off this week. Have you been spending all your money on food? Stop being lazy. It’s not worth the sad bank account. Budget and save, you’ll thank me later. 

Sagittarius:

A messy room is a messy mind. Take your dishes to the sink and actually put your rubbish in the bin for once. And finally do something about that poster that keeps falling down. 

Capricorn:

Capricorn, we get it. You’re good at everything but it’s time to go out of your comfort zone for once instead of always doing the things you already know you’re good at. 

Aquarius:

Venus is in your first house, which is emblematic of you looking amazing. But it’s quickly approaching Saturn, meaning you may not be able to see it. What you say to yourself when you’re alone matters. 

Pisces:

This week is not the time to be jumping to conclusions. Be aware that everything you see is from your perspective and there’s always at least two sides to every story. No more fast judgements.