Horoscopes 15th May
Aries: Issues with your friends are fucking with your creativity. In fact, it’s kinda fucking with everything. Work, money, romantic partners—you name it. Rise above it. The bullshit won’t last forever.
Taurus: Something happened that’s making you feel so lucky, and it’s shaking up the negative perception you’ve always had of yourself. Ride that sudden burst of confidence for all its worth and don’t let your toxic friend, self-doubt, get in the way.
Gemini: Gemini is moving into their vape-free era. No more coughing up black tar whenever you’re sick. I, as your horoscope guardian angel, couldn’t be more proud of you—so long as you stick to it. This is the fifth time you’ve quit, after all.
Cancer: Nostalgia has ensnared you big time. You’ve been scrolling through your old Tumblr. I have to admit, you’ve got bigger balls than I do. Your old blog is nothing but old Lana Del Rey and The 1975 edits and it's putting you in the best mood.
Leo: Fuck me Leo, I don’t envy your week. Your partner will accidentally give you a black eye, you’re jealous of a friend’s career which challenges your sense of self, and the consequences of last week's workplace rebellion are still playing out.
Virgo: Aw, your week is actually gonna be so wholesome. I see you really enjoying uni and just getting up to cute lil activities. I’m seeing picnics (weather permitting) and you getting an A on that assignment you worked real hard on.
Libra: Libra, you’re falling down the hole of clout chasing. You got a bunch of likes for something and now you’re an addict. Online attention is now the only way you can find validation. The addiction is real. smh.
Scorpio: Someone is coming after your reputation, but you low-key have nothing to worry about. Your friends and family, and even randoms, are not gonna give two-shits because, tbh, the person running this smear campaign has a lot of respect.
Sagittarius: Many a blessin’ is coming your way, but one of your friends isn’t very happy about it. Someone has turned into a green-eyed monster watching you thrive. You friend wouldn’t happen to be a Leo would they?
Capricorn: A Capricorn got annoyed at me last week because apparently my horoscope was ‘too specific’, so I’ll just leave you with three words: Hot. New. Thang.
Aquarius: Your significant other is mad because you’re not moving fast enough. They want you to move in with them, or even just commit to the title of ‘couple’. Your commitment issues are activating your fight or flight.
Pisces: One of the people closest to you, maybe a best friend or a sibling, is really pissing you off. They’re in a cycle of self destructive behaviour, and it's starting to encroach on your friendship. Reckon it’s time to stage an intervention?