Issue 07: Freedom

Frankie Dale | she/her

GOING OUT ON A RIM HERE—A CASE FOR ANAL TONGUE-PUNCHING

Rimming is something I hold dear to my heart. I am a heteronormative woman who just so happens to occasionally engage in the act of giving my sexual partner a rim job—does this make me a freak? Maybe. 

The idea of a woman giving a man a ‘rimmy’ is not talked about or done enough. I am here today to help YOU understand the importance of a good rim job.

For years, I was at the receiving end—something I didn't particularly enjoy but my partner at the time seemed to hanker for. To be completely honest, the thought of my tongue having to go near a hairy butthole made me squeam. At the heart of our patriarchal, misogynist, homophobic society we have deemed rimming something no heteronormative man should be on the receiving end of. The notion that ass-play makes a heteronormative man gay is ridiculous. All men have a populous amount of nerve endings down there, so why not? 

Many heterosexual boy friends of mine will deny that there is any feeling in their butt, exclaiming that they have the opposite of feeling down there. Lol okay, defensive? Maybe randomly asking boys if they like rimjobs is confronting, but then I realised—who fucking cares? The amount of times I’ve heard Dwayne or Chad talk about how much he ‘fucks’ with blowjobs is embarrassing—you don't have to enjoy rimjobs, that’s not what I’m saying at all but why can't we all enjoy the freedom of being sexually open? 

I asked one of my sexiest and wokest male friends what he thought of your run of the mill rimmy. He clearly stated, “I thought you'd never ask”, which for a second had me picturing our new life together. I was quickly humbled when he said: “The new girl I’m seeing introduced them to me, I’m a big fan for sure”. Although disappointed, I was relieved that a heterosexual man could be so open about it. “Listen, boys are going to lie about this, it’s considered gay I suppose...but it’s really not, that’s bullshit.” 

I thought to myself, if my coolest guy friend could hop on board to the freedom train, couldn’t we all? 

Now, I need you to understand, I am on your side in this. I was like you for many years. It wasn't till me and my
ex-boyfriend (god bless him) were at our wit’s end, trying to rekindle our seemingly ending relationship. 

I remember the harsh morning sunlight, coming through the crack in the curtain, the musky smell that overwhelmed me as I moved further down. I remember thinking, how did I get here? I said to myself, this is it. This is your chance. I darted my tongue in fear. The taste was very minimal, not even noticeable. The smell was that of a very mild musk probably just due to sweating in the night. I will spare you with the details, just know it was a success. I felt unstoppable, almost like a hero. I had conquered uncharted territories and if I can do it anyone can. 

I know what you're thinking—did this save our relationship? No, it did not. The magic of the rim job did not quite save the already poisoned relationship. What it did do was open up my eyes, and hopefully his, to a whole new world of being sexually open and free and recognising that we are all human beings with nerve endings in our asses. 

Whoever you are, please don't be scared of tossing the salad every now and then. Feeling comfortable with your partner is definitely the first step into this whole new world of anilingus so please be careful, and welcome to your new life of being sexually open and free.