Multitasking Qween

Words by Teddi (they/he/she)

Gay people can also be disabled! Shocking, I know. But I did once have someone say “how could you be both?” I am a Multitasking Qween. Sure, we are less common than non-disabled queers, but that doesn’t mean we aren’t here and full of pride.

Research suggests that people who have an autism diagnosis or autistic traits are two to three times more likely to be transgender than the general population, and autistic AFAB people are three times more likely to identify as homosexual or bisexual. We don’t know for sure the reasons why that is. There isn’t a lot of research into autistic adult life, and especially not much research into disabled queer life. But the point remains: while we are a small percentage of the queer population, being queer is the majority of the autistic population. 

Since getting diagnosed with a connective tissue disorder at age 15, I have been aware of how unwelcome disabled people can be in certain situations. I see my future struggles happen to others and see how differently I will be treated. I know it’s not out of malice, people are just unaware of how disabled people exist and how our lives are different from able-bodied people. 

Take ramps, for example. Everyone knows that they are there for people in wheelchairs or people with luggage. But they are also there for people with knee, hip, and ankle issues, since stairs require you to put full body weight on a single leg when descending. Usually I get questions about why I’m taking a much longer ramp when stairs are right there. I’m not in a rush, I’m usually late to most things. The goal is getting there safely and being able to enjoy myself. There is no point going out, getting injured, and then being in a foul mood from pain when I can just think through my actions and make safer choices.

So much of my time is taken up by being disabled. There isn’t a stop to it. It is in both my body and mind. I can’t just forget about it while I am doing other things, even if I am enjoying myself. Being AuADHD is how my brain works and how I perceive the world around me. It’s fucking exhausting having to weigh up each option for everything. But the alternative is not going out, sticking to my safe routine, and missing out on seeing my friends and engaging with the community. 

Pride is known for its parties and parades. Most parade floats aren’t accessible if you can’t manage stairs. Parties are overstimulating and often don’t have a lot of seating. If you can’t drink, advertisements can make you uncomfortable. Even on ^RuPaul’s Drag Race^ alcohol is being promoted.

I can’t stand for long periods of time, but I’m not at the point of needing a wheelchair yet. I still can’t just go somewhere and hope it works out, because if it doesn’t, I end up in hospital. Eventually I will become an ambulant wheelchair user. 

Wellington Pride is really inclusive. Sure, Ivy is down a flight of stairs, but other venues were labelled as wheelchair friendly, and it was included on the program if it was accessible. One event noted that the gender neutral toilet was not accessible but everything else was. There were even some events that included closed captions for their videos. Usually, these are things we have to figure out from snooping online or ringing venues in advance. The work done by the Wellington Pride 2023 committee was so great and I hope it continues being included.