Pascal

someone told me if i were an animal,

i would be a chameleon

one of those transformative, mutable creatures

cause we all know they change colour,

and i dyed my hair like five times this year.

the san diego zoo website said

they have “fast firing tongues”

cause they eat insects that speed around

i think i’ve only eaten insects in my sleep

but my words fly out of my mouth and burn faster than i can stifle their flame

a different kind of ignition.

there’s one kind called the namaqua

they dig holes in the ground to protect themselves from the desert’s intense day heat

and the night’s biting cold

but they bask in the sun until it gets too hot, anyway

almost on the edge of burning every day

there’s something so admirable about how they keep on coming back to the light.

chameleon tails can’t regrow like other lizards tails can

they need it to climb,

curl around branches

and, god,

when my heart breaks

it feels like it’ll never be healed again.

their tails are prehensile

meant to keep a grip,

keep them safe from falling

i don’t think there’s a thing about me that doesn’t want to hold on.