Dear daughter
Dear daughter,
Sometimes we wonder
how you’ll describe us when we pass
We know our love was as ever changing
as Mother Nature herself.
drowned you with worry
buried you under expectations
uprooted you with furious winds
burnt you with a sharp tongue
yet
we made a home
out of dreams and opportunities
sheltered you
with weary bones
nursed children to adults
from ancient wisdom
in a foreign land
we cannot describe
the need that came over us
when you slipped out
crying
while we were drowning
with sharks hovering
we came to this land
and promptly spat out
it was clear
we left an aftertaste
in the white man’s mouth
a condition of entry
we were not aware
but have learnt
how to hold
at the back of our throats
The sweetness of a date
The songs that pull at the threads of our hearts
The blood that carries all the stories that were and are to come
This is the tonic that soothes
The rumbling in our stomachs
when there isn’t enough space for
‘we are happy to be here’
and
‘will we ever belong’
to exist at the same time.
Dear Aabo and Hooyo,
I have been
trying to fold
my apology
into words
Sorry
Waan ka xumahay
Thank you
Mahadsantahay
Perhaps I won’t ever
but the apology lies in
unlearning
reclaiming
knowing
standing
upright
as our ancestors did
My spirit lies in
multiple homes
that stretch over
oceans
genealogies
wars
Homes
perfumed with
xawaash and manuka
blessed with
duas and Katchafire
grounded in
Te Tiriti and the Qur’an
My first ever home
belongs to my mother’s womb
who had the sense to
swap it out for another
Aotearoa
I’m sorry for trying to
sever
cut
change
that
I know now
that you were
just humans
who brought life
but
fear
pain
with it
I know now
you took
the curdled milk
soaked in it
to have tender
skin
hearts
to take on
the hardships
of being brown
in a white world
I’ll make room
for your expectations
I’ll carry
the weight of your sacrifice
Answer the questions
Dripping in accusation
And too
turn it into
blossoming flowers
that grew without soil
Because of you
we are the generation
the soft revolution
of rivers coursing
new paths
that even mountains
cannot stop.