Rainbow Pride: Where Does the Word ‘Queer’ Fit In?

Words by Mary Allan (she/her)

My name is Mary. I am a 50-something cisgender female who is pansexual. I use she/her pronouns.
I am a single mum to two awesome teenagers, a passionate runner and yoga fan, and an eternal student. I am also a Counsellor at Mauri Ora Student Health and Counselling. I was both delighted and terrified to be asked to write something for Salient on this topic. My work as a counsellor is rewarding and affirming, as is being part of the Mauri Ora Gender Affirming Health Care team.

I am about to do a deep dive into a postgraduate course called “Pink Therapy”. It is a 12-month online course on gender, sexuality, and relationship diversity (GSRD). I am hoping that my diving gear is secure! I have no doubt that at times it will not be so, as being a part of the queer/rainbow/LGBTQIA+ community is not always an easy journey.

I found myself wondering whether I am queer enough before I applied for the training, noting that I am subject to the impacts of microaggressions and insecurities like all humans. I decided that the answer is, “hell yes!” I am what I am, to quote a great Gloria Gaynor song.

I have been thinking about the words that we use to describe ourselves in LGBTQIA+ communities. Language can be powerful and has a historical context. The rainbow flag designed by Gilbert Baker and other activists in 1978 has become one of the most recognised symbols of LGBTQIA+ pride in the world. I know there are some My Little Pony Rainbow Dash fans out there. I see you!

I am aware that using the word ‘queer’ must be done sensitively. It is not so long ago that the word was used in a pejorative sense. ‘Queer’ is not the first word of its kind to be reclaimed. But unlike others, ‘queer’ seems poised to represent all of us. It is a word charged with as many emotions, meanings, and historical perspectives as there are shades of LGBTQIA+ identity. So, proceed with caution. What is most important is ensuring individuals can self- identify in the way that best reflects who they are.

What I love most about my work with LGBTQIA+ students is that I can walk alongside some of the smartest, funniest, stylish, and resilient young people on their gender/sexuality and relationship journeys. Along the way I also learn about Philosophy, Engineering, Anthropology, Film, Art History, Psychology, and many other awesome topics. It is a struggle for some students dealing with family who are emotionally absent, uniformed, homophobic, and/or transphobic. My work is rewarding because I get to watch people grow into who they are in terms of sexuality, gender, and relationship diversity.

As helping professionals, it is imperative that we are honest about our own identities and respectful of each person’s unique journey. It is also important that our mental health systems, and other staff, are inclusive and responsive to this.

I am all about the promotion of euphoria and wellbeing. However you identify, you are welcome at Mauri Ora.