Live, Laugh, Lav

Words by Lav (she/her)

Have a question or need some advice? Send all your queries to loveandsexsalient@gmail.com 

My lovelorn readers, my heartbroken allies, my sexually frustrated, confused, and misunderstood fellows.

Welcome to my column. The designated space for us to talk dirty and be vulnerable. Are you excited? I am. 

I want to be here for you to hold your proverbial hand as you try to make sense of your feelings, hopes, worries, and desires. If you have questions, I have answers. 

I’ve been obsessed with learning, unlearning, and relearning all things love and sex for as long as I remember. I am embarrassed to admit that, at the age of 14, Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus was glued to my hand as I devoured what I thought was gospel. 

This book was just the beginning, and when I wasn’t reading self-help books, I was scouring Reddit pages and journal articles, got a degree in Psychology and studied sexual histories. I needed to not only know and understand, but be the breathing, walking, intimate relationship know-it-all I was always destined to be. 

I’ve read almost everything from everywhere, and put SO MUCH to the test it’s almost embarrassing. After all this, I’ve come to my own conclusions, but continue to pursue learning with a curious and open mind. I don't necessarily buy into much of the media I have indulged in for the last 14 years. Ultimately, what I strongly believe is that we are all humans with a deep need for connection and acceptance. 

So…

I call to you to send me stories and requests for advice on any and all to do with matters of the heart, the brain, and the genitals. I am here to teach you how to Live, Laugh and Love your way to better relationships and better sex. My aim is to cut through the bullshit of what we think we "should" do, think, feel, or say, and maybe give you tools to actually make the right decisions for YOU, using self-reflection, honesty, and a sprinkling of vulnerability. Ultimately, I hope my column gives you sanity and lucidity. And maybe better sex too.

And before you go, here is a quick piece of advice: 

Respect is a must. It is the bare minimum. Mutual respect in fights, in sex, in casual hook-ups, in love, and, frankly, ANY INTERACTION is an absolute number one requirement. You must remember to respect others even if they don’t see eye to eye with you. If you’re having to ask for respect, or aren’t getting it, come to terms that the person you’re with is not in a position to meet your bare minimums. Give yourself that respect and move on. 

Lots of Lav x

It’s really fucking not. I no longer subscribe to these reductive teachings, you’d be happy to hear.