Horoscopes #1

Aries

Mars is moving to the house of friendship, potentially causing some friction and aggressive competition between you and your mates. Try to keep your cool this week, Aries. Let others share the mic.

 Taurus

Guess what’s in the first house for Taurus? Uranus! Sounds like a bad joke, but it means there will be unpredictable changes for you this week. Maybe you’ll cut a spontaneous fringe?

Gemini  

With Mercury in the ninth house, you may find yourself frequently talking about politics and ideologies. While your enthusiasm knows no bounds, remember to use reason and speak with respect. It pays to be kind.

Cancer

New moon, new you? Thursday’s new moon signals a fresh page—time to let go of that negative internal voice. Self-love is the key to feeling like you have your shit together.

 Leo 

It’s O-Week bay-beee! The events may be cancelled but don’t let that stop you from doing something wild. Have a socially distanced dance-off with strangers. Hold a séance with your flatmates. Go ham.

Virgo

This week is all about duty and hygiene. The stars are telling you to scan in, use hand sani, and go get your booster. I can’t make this shit up.

 

Libra

This one goes out to all the horny little Libra freshers. Venus, the planet of love and relationships, is transitioning from the house of family to that of pleasure. A banging parallel to moving out of home…

Scorpio

Scorpio, your communication’s been lackin’. With Pluto in the house of communication, it’s revamp hour. Death to sulking and grudges—time to lay your cards on the table and be frank with your feelings.

Sagittarius

Jupiter has moved into the house of family and origins, bringing with it a focus on growth, hope, and understanding. This week is a good time to reflect on your whānau and whakapapa. Call Mum. 

Capricorn

The urge to splurge might be going hard, bro, but now is the time for you to be disciplined with your finances and control any materialistic yearning. Welly op-shops can wait.

Aquarius 

It’s your turn to be the mum-friend this week, comforting homesick friends and holding their hair back while they chunder. Just as long as they promise to stop you making bad decisions next week. 

 Pisces

Pisces, I know you’ve been having some wacky dreams lately. The subconscious holds your hidden fears and desires, so take another look at those nocturnal visions. What can your dreams tell you about yourself and your needs?