Horoscope #7

ARIES: 

Mars is in Pisces, so you can expect to be feeling overly emotional for absolutely no reason. Ran out of bread? Cry. Friend took five minutes too long to respond? Cry. Raining? Cry.

TAURUS: 

Good times with your mates are ahead but Neptune is stopping concrete plans. Everybody is going to be available at totally different times and you might go a bit wild trying to get them all together.

GEMINI: 

Stop living up to your stereotype, Gemini. Not everything is a performance and you won’t die if you let people see your authentic self occasionally. You can be shy, just don’t be fake.

CANCER: 

The eclipse at the end of the week is going to show you who your real friends are. It’s always uncomfortable letting people go, but you’re better off without whoever the stars are warning you against.

LEO: 

You’ve been super busy recently which definitely isn't a bad thing. Enjoy a week of brief peace before things start picking up for real. Trust me, the hardest hasn’t passed yet...

VIRGO: 

Is all the extra responsibility falling on your shoulders again? Typical. They always give the extra work to the Virgo. You’re being crushed by all the compounded small tasks. Stop saying “yes” every time!

LIBRA: 

You’re going to find a new hobby this week, but don’t expect it to be something ordinary. Expect niche and obscure. Not necessarily glass-duck collecting, but something of a similar vibe.

SCORPIO: 

Expect big changes. Expect mixed emotions. Expect good. Expect bad. This week is going to be a lot of things but boring is definitely not one of them. Which is good. And bad.

SAGITTARIUS: 

I bet you had a good-ass break. We see you, all smiley and shit. Probably feeling motivated for the second half of tri. Try to let that motivation last more than your usual two days.

CAPRICORN: 

Sweet Capricorn, I know it’s been a struggle recently. It’s been hard to see the overall picture and every day has felt hard. But I promise, this week onward, you’ll find your day-to-day improving.

AQUARIUS: 

The eclipse can only mean annoying things for your home. Could be pipes bursting, could be a leaky tap. God forbid, it could even be your flatmate using all the hot water. For shame.

PISCES: 

Recently things have been good for you and people can see the difference. Don’t worry. You don’t have to keep making self-important Instagram posts. You’re the only one who actually enjoys them.