Romantic Endeavours at Kelburn Campus

Kirsty Frame | Ngāti Kahungunu | She/Her
Matthew Casey | He/Him

As the end of the trimester approaches, we’re gonna be spending more time at uni, or avoiding it altogether. If you’re not the latter, you might find yourself in such a predicament: wanting to engage in romantic endeavors all while staying on top of your books. 

Whether it’s budding love, or your long-time partner, we’ve conducted extensive field research into the best places at Kelb to foster such romances (Te Aro & Pip, we love you still, promise).

Looking at your horizons

Link up with your boo at the corner of Wishbone and the Alan MacDiarmid (AM) corridor, head east through the carpark. From there, you’ll see a small patch of grass against the final parks. There is a cute little dug out seat which perches you infront of one of the most beautiful views in Wellington. If you want to make your date swoon, this is the spot.

The ideal situation here would be 2pm in between both of your classes, it's one of those rare events colloquially known as a ‘good day’. You’ve got kai and a view. Due to its location it is reasonably quiet and secluded from the hustle and bustle of Uni life. If you guys have a chance of a future, it's being secured here.  

For the vegans

You already know what it is. Our finest VUW delicacy, Krishna, provides you with affordable and downright yum kai for a lunch date. But there isn’t a lot of space in the cafe, and to avoid your Krish going cold or blowing away—take a short walk to the Hunter Courtyard. We recommend saving this spot for especially calm and sunny days, and to be prepared for lecturers to walk past. On an average day the courtyard is dull and pigeon-filled.

If you want people to see…

Hypothetically, you want to be seen with your date. Maybe, just maybe, you’re petty enough that you’re trying to flex. There’s no better spot for this than outside the Hub Courtyard—hear us out. Sitting out here gives you visibility from all angles: the various levels of the library, punters in the Hub, heck, even from the inside of The Lab. Look, it’s a bit petty, and perhaps a sign that you’re not over your ex, but you do you.

Hunter Lounge mezzanine

You’ve finally plucked up the courage to ask that person out you met at that house party last weekend. You’re both free on Friday afternoon, have finished uni for the week—let's get it. A $10 jug of castlepoint and 2-for-1 margarita pizza for $8 goes a treat. It’s lowkey, a good vibe, and Jack at the bar is a nice bloke. Park up on the sofas upstairs, don’t forget to sit across from another—because sitting next to each other is just fuckin weird. 

NBA is likely to be on the big screen, so you can flex your shitty opinions about Lebron James. Make sure you don't flex too hard because your date will then find out your opinion about Lebron is pure trash and they don't care about it either. 

Te Pātaka Toi / Adam Art Gallery

It’s a crime many of us commit: spending 3 years at this institution without endeavouring into the wonders of Te Pātaka Toi. There’s great benefits to stepping into this space. It’s free, you gain some ~culture~, and if the convo is shit, at least you can focus on the artwork. Extra points if you have great convo about the artwork.

Tuatara spotting

Like the Art Gallery, there’s nothing better than an activity to ease conversation nerves. If you’re wanting to get some green space inside, take your boo to find the tuataras. Those poor dinos have been relocated too many times to count thanks to Vic’s stitch up, but right now you’ll find ‘em near the overbridge. 

Don’t you fucking dare

Ok everyone, we need to have a chat about decency. In a world of young love and hormones, we can somewhat understand the sheer strength it takes to resist expressing affection to another on campus. Well, keep resisting, because PDA is fucking gross. A kiss and a cuddle goodbye, allgood, but stop making out with hands in each other's back pockets. 

And if you’re opting for somewhere private to release those desires, do not, DO NOT, choose a booth. The illusion of privacy that these provide is embarrassing, there’s nothing grosser than walking past and seeing two sets of entangled legs. 

The MOUNT STREET CEMETERY

This ain’t it. Please, for your ancestors, stop.