Good as Gold?

Jack Henry Blair | He/Him

Most of y’all say you survived high school, but did you come out unscathed? I want to know. I’m still in high school, and for the most part, it’s a pretty shit time.

Uniforms strip us of any individuality, we’re told who we are, who we need to be, and what we shouldn't talk about. With that comes the crumbling reality of the stereotypes that rule the school. If you don’t fit into the few boxes, like me, good luck to us, right?

Lots of these stereotypes let toxic masculinity, and other bad things, linger around like the smell of that vape juice you spilt on your mate's carpet. This idea of being ‘tough’ is drilled into us from primary school, and by the time we get to Year 13, we’re upholding it ourselves. Well, for the most part—I try my best to unlearn.

The stigma of men not talking about their mental health is one which has been adamant for years and sticks around like gum to a sidewalk. My friends and I don’t talk to each other enough, lots of us have these layers to try and ‘toughen’ ourselves. We don’t know what’s really going on underneath their $200 AfterPay’ed fit.

Never thought 2020 would give my mask metaphor new meaning like this, but try disassociate yourself for a minute here. I’m talking about the masks us lads put up over ourselves. Wearing a mask is like enduring a roller coaster that won’t stop, and after a while, you get sick of doing that corkscrew and you become drained of all emotion. The worst thing about this is that us guys are too scared to seek the help we need because of the stigma.

Are we really “good as gold”? 1 in 6 male New Zealanders have been affected by a mental health-related issue once in their life. It's a hard pill to swallow, maybe harder when you’re in high school. Besides your teacher praying that you hand in that 5-month-old internal, we get through this hell hole with next to zero support. The piss-poor effort of counselling they set up is, for the most part, just so they can say they support our mental health.

I’m getting a bit serious here lads (and girls, I'm not forgetting you)—depression it's a pretty real thing aye. Personally, this year I developed it and it's not sunshine and rainbows, but more mood swings, black coffee, and the constant feeling of not being enough. Us men are good at hiding it and acting as if we're tough as nails, but we’re only human.

Keeping in contact with your mates is easier said than done, I sure as hell like to think I keep in contact but maybe once a day you’ll get a lousy snap or some mediocre TikTok which you’ve probably already seen. In the world right now there are 1000's of ways to contact people, feeling old? Use the landline. Feeling classy? Send a dm or even frisky match with your mate on tinder. As a whole, we all need to make a bigger effort even if it's a five-minute conversation that could light up someone's day.

But we also have to check in with ourselves. Ask yourself right now how you are feeling… now ask yourself, honestly, how are you feeling?? Obviously I don’t know what you just said but I'm hoping it was positive. Self-care is manly—it’s the toughest thing we can do.

Now, I'm no influencer—I'm still a high school student, but I reckon conversations like these are helping. If you’ve got brothers, cousins, younger mates in high school—keep an eye on us. We’re having a bit of a shit time, and you could help us dismantle the shitty stereotypes we’re fighting. Maybe now we can address the issue and finally make a positive change for masculinity’s sake.