Hemp Product Review
Matthew Casey | He/Him
As is known, with the entire cannabis debate, you don't have to smoke to vote yes. Alternatively, there are probably a few smokers who will vote no to legalisation.
If you stray away from the understanding of cannabis in terms of ‘weed’, there is also a very famous variety of cannabis called ‘hemp’, which has many uses—from paper, to clothes, all the way through to food.
This week, we’re talking about hemp in two different capacities. One you can find at Commonsense Organics, the other at your local diary. We’re reviewing hemp protein powder and hemp energy drinks—which questionably, does not actually contain any hemp.
Macro Wholefoods Hemp protein powder: 3.7/5 Stars
200g / $8 at Countdown
I examine this brown, powdery, 5-health-star-rating bag of hemp protein powder. The packaging states it’s meant to provide “power to the muscles”, so I thought that is what I should judge it on. As I take my first sip, I feel a very earthy, chalky type of taste—but that’s exactly what I thought it would taste like. Though, I would personally rather have a more flavoursome protein powder. I rated the consumability 2.6/5, but I then decided to mix it in with my coffee and raised it to a solid 4.2/5. Putting the hemp protein powder with coffee is way better, aye. On the back they advise adding it to smoothies so that could be good too.
The next big question is: Does it provide power to the muscles? The answer is yes. Before I tried the protein powder I did 10 press ups, very comfortably. After trying the protein powder I was able to do 15 press ups. It may’ve been placebo but I felt like Levi, the “big is Good” Mitre 10 MEGA guy. Obviously I won't be able to get a great grasp after consuming this protein powder once, but I reckon it helped.
Hemp Energy Drink, Lemon, Lime & Bitters Flavour: 2.3/5 Stars
500ml / $4 at Mena’s Convenience Store
These sensationalist, overtly weed-themed, canned energy drinks come in a few different flavours. But here I am just focusing on the Lemon, Lime & Bitters flavour, available at the dairy on your way up to Kelburn campus. I find jokes around these types of products funny at times, I also have a sub-par sense of humour. The joke loses steam very fast because the second you turn the can over you find a clarification in between two exclamation marks. They felt the need to clarify there was no cocaine, marijuana, or any other drugs. For an edgy drink, maybe a bit too edgy to the point of irresponsible.
The drink itself tastes all good, it has an off brand Sprite-like flavour to it. I don’t think the price factor is welcoming. It cost me like $4 and if you want to drink a lemon and lime drink that’s not Sprite, the bros at Pepsi have this wild alternative called 7-Up.
I first had this drink when I was a much younger youth because—*lol thats so crack up, it’s like weed but it's actually just an energy drink and it's not weed or anything like it at all*—but I wont act like I haven't had this drink on multiple occasions. I need to again highlight the $4 price point does not make it as tempting as other, similar drinks on the market.
I do understand that this hemp energy drink came out at a different time when New Zealand didn't have such a proliferation of hemp use. The energy drinks are definitely a bit far from hemp-related in terms of content, but interesting nonetheless. I feel as though the hemp protein powder is decent, if that's what you’re interested in. I’ll stick to getting my protein from cooking eggs for breakfast—but if you’re interested in trying hemp products, Macro wholefoods hemp protein powder is the way to go.