DEAR AUNTY VIC #19
I've been going on a date with a new guy every week in Wellington, but I haven't connected with any of them. They’re all disappointing? I'm considering giving up on dating altogether.
Lol, do it.
Goodness ever gracious me. If dates are just constantly disappointing you, why the hell are you putting yourself through it? Everyone knows being single is way less stressful.
First, I want to give you some kudos for actually finding a new person to date every week. Are you using Hinge? You must be. I don’t even know enough men for that to be physically possible. Engaging in frequent small talk, wearing a constant smile, and casually paying for a $12 glass of wine every Friday isn't a commitment that every student is ready to undertake.Your social battery is either elite or you’re beyond drained.
The reason I say give up on dating is because it evidently isn’t serving you.
Dating can be an fulfilling experience if you enjoy a quick snog and spending your Friday nights learning new things about new people. However, if you’re looking to find a long-term partner, it’s rare that a Tinder date is going to provide.
Matching with strangers on Hinge is fun, but there’s no guarantee that you’ll be paired up with people who have the same energy, interests, or even ethos as you. The only thing guaranteed is that you’re both physically attracted to one another and capable of a bit of online banter. I mean, that’s definitely enough for some. But it’s not really a guarantee of life-long friendship, deep rooted trust, and amazing sex, is it?
A long-term partner always comes along when you least expect it. So dawdling around at the same bar every weekend isn’t going to get you there… A healthy, exciting, and loving relationship is more likely to appear when you are doing things you love, with people you love, and when you feel secure in who you are. I know that’s cliché, but it’s true.
You attract the energy you exude. Use this time that you’re single to grow your self confidence and learn what you really want and need. If these dates consistently lead to disappointment, spend time doing things that make you feel good with your friends instead. Channel that energy into self-care and personal growth, and revitalise yourself.
If you're dating to just get a few more names on the roster, it's time to step up your game. Don't settle for lame fucking activities like mini golf. Instead, take a bold approach. Send that text message. You are young and sexy, and any person would be lucky to have an opportunity to even be in your presence!
Remember, being single is a thrilling journey of self-discovery, but it won't feel that way if you're just waiting around for the excitement to come to you. While dating can bring disappointment, it also presents a golden chance to fulfil your desires on your own terms. Infusing boldness into your weekly dates adds excitement to life. Your dating experiences will be lacklustre if you're stuck in the same routine, maintaining the same attitude, and simply hoping for someone to sweep you off your feet.
Aim to be the person your date can't stop raving about to their friends. Strive to create the best dating experiences they've ever had. You get what you give, so if you want your Friday’s to be more spicy, you need to bring the heat.