Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter is the Best Take on Christianity and Queerness (That We’ve Got)

Words by Charlie Joseph (he/him)

Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter is a truly unforgettable B-movie. It’s uniquely hilarious, and although its production is clearly home-made, Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter is a labour of love. It’s my favourite movie of all time, my mission statement, and the piece of art that speaks most to my feelings around queerness and Christianity. Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter is special to me because it presents a vision of Christianity wherein queer people have a celebrated place.

I grew up with most of the people around me being Christian, and Christianity was an important part of my life until a few years ago. I am also a gay transsexual, and while faith and queerness can definitely coexist, there was never a point when that didn't involve compromising the queer parts of myself. I repressed my gender and sexuality because I thought it stood in the way of being a good Christian. My church affirmed this belief by allowing queerphobia to run rampant amongst its membership.

I know I’m not alone in all this having a negative impact on my self-perception. My personal experiences with Christianity have always been in conflict with my identity as a queer person. This is where Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter swoops in to save the day. I’m not joking when I say that the queer-Christian tension is unpacked so successfully in this campy little film.

The movie follows Jesus journeying through Ottawa on a mission to save the lesbians of Canada from a series of vampire attacks. He teams up with Mary Magnum for the wildest 85 minutes of adventures, from bonkers Matrix-esque action scenes to, yes, musical numbers. It’s also by far the most homoerotic movie I’ve seen—and I watched Morbius last year. Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter revels in its characters’ sexuality, never passing up an opportunity for a dutch-angle ass-shot or the horniest vampire bites captured on film.

There’s something genuinely very special about the way Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter expresses queer sexuality through a Christian narrative. It’s indulgent and camp, but it never demands to be taken seriously. Sexuality is not put aside as something too important or precious to be explored in a fun, silly way. It is celebrated as a part of the characters’ queer expression. At the end of the movie, Mary Magnum asks Jesus to convert Maxine Shreck, the prominent villain and vampire of the film, back to her human form, revealing that she is in love with Maxine. Jesus agrees, and Mary has the hot lesbian lover of her dreams. Jesus then returns to the site of the film’s atheist clown car battle to give a sermon. Just roll with it.

Recovering from religious queerphobia might be hard, but it’s easier when you can laugh with Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter about it. You can find it on YouTube. I’ll go watch it right now. If I’m not back in five minutes, call the Pope.