TeaSpoonie

Words By Teddi (they/he/she):

I love going out. My sister works at a bar that has a lot of shows and performances so I get half-price tickets. No matter the drag show, I’ve got a table when Ivy’s doors open. With the removal of vaccine passes and contact tracing, I no longer feel safe being in crowded spaces. It’s a shame but there’s not really anything I can do aside from keeping masks on or avoiding populated spaces altogether.

No shade to those who have different attitudes to vaccines but my family rely on herd immunity and vaccinations to be healthy. It’s not just me that has chronic health issues. I’m fine with missing out on live shows in favour of streaming music if that means we don’t get sick. 

I consume so much media when I am ill. There is not much I can physically do, so art is much appreciated. I have taken an extended break from musical instruments after moving countries so instead I always have something on Spotify going. Even when I have a migraine I will still sometimes have quiet music on, since I can control the volume and it can be enjoyed in the dark. I highly recommend listening to Hozier when you feel like trash. His music is beautiful even when quiet and I enjoy his lyrics. I have light sensitivity so I can’t watch movies when I have a migraine so music is a constant in my life.

I’ve been living isolated by illness since I was a teenager getting viral chronic fatigue syndrome. Being disabled is an isolating experience because no one can fully understand what is going on with you. I barely understand what’s going on with me since every day is a different day. No day has the same level of energy as the day before. Every day is different and no one has an identical experience. 

Kelly (she/her):

To the average teenager, listening to music is their whole life. The simplest way to unplug from reality and spend some time with good tunes to make you feel better. As a teen, I really wanted to share the experience of listening to music as frequently as my peers. 

I remember my brother helping me download all my favourite songs into my mp4 player and the intense joy I would feel when I plugged my headphones in during car rides, walks, or when doing my homework. Any opportunity where I could listen to music, I would.

But, within a couple of weeks of that, listening to music with headphones on would trigger a day-long migraine. At this point in my life, my migraines had not yet started affecting my motor and cognitive functions. However, I still lived in fear of the long attacks.

A couple more weeks passed and this trigger formed a new, wider reaching trigger: any electronic noise before bed. While I was able to regain the ability to listen through my headphones (in moderation), to this day I cannot have any type of electronic noise within an hour of bedtime. This is one of my many triggers and oftentimes I find them to be very dehumanising. They restrict or take away small things in life that I enjoy (we’ll do a piece on triggers in the future).

Being chronically ill has more restrictions than healthy people understand.