Steaming In An Academic Pressure Cooker

Anoushka Divekar (she/her)

For most, the start of semester marks the beginning of a very stressful period. After all, it’s university, and you can’t spell “studying” without “dying”. You’re served a stress cocktail, with an added dash of societal expectations and a twist of parental pressure—something many of my fellow Asian kids will be able to relate to. You don’t just have to get good grades, you need the best grade. You find yourself in a position of having to prove yourself not only to yourself, but also your parents, peers, and that random aunty you meet once a month at a social gathering. 

I have deduced that this pressure stems from the fact that many of us are either children of immigrants, or we are immigrants ourselves, meaning we have a fat stack of prejudice against us from the minute we start school. I swear if I had a dollar for each time someone asked me to help them with a maths or science project in college, I’d have a lot of dollars. And I’m an economics major! I’m sure a lot of us are in the same boat. Sometimes ignorant comments turn into perceived expectations. Everyone expects you to be amazing because, well, how could you not? Suddenly you’re studying your butt off to get the top grade in your class, and signing up to a million extracurriculars just to keep yourself from turning into a human dosa from all the pressure you’re under. What I’m trying to say is that you’re not alone. Aunty Anoushka is going through the exact same thing! It’s okay to have setbacks and bad days, you’re only human. So long as you’re happy with yourself, nothing else matters. You’re doing great, and I love you:) 

Laurelei Bautista (she/her)

From being the first to fill out primary school sticker charts, to trying to get into Honours, my entire life has been spent trying to impress my parents that have made so many sacrifices to get me to where I am today. In Asian families, hearing an “I’m proud of you” is the equivalent to winning the lotto. My sun in Scorpio means that I will stop at nothing to get what I want, and I wanted that recognition so much that I dropped out of Year 13 in the middle of a pandemic just to start university early. Am I crazy or just craving validation? I guess we’ll never know. 

Whatever it is, the constant working and hustle is as damaging as it is rewarding. Getting amazing grades isn’t anything to flex if it means you’re losing sleep and skipping breakfast. It’s important to recognise that our parents only push us so hard because they just want what’s best for us. And forgive me if I’m going out on a limb here, but I don’t think their definition of “best” includes sacrificing our wellbeing just for an A (no matter how much it seems like it is). And don’t even get me started on the idea that “All Asians are smart”! One of the many things wrong with the model minority myth is that it drastically shapes our visions of success and a happy life (tune in for a future column on everything else that’s wrong with said myth). Academic burnout is real, folks, and by the words of Brené Brown—“if you don’t want to burn out, stop living like you’re on fire”. Look after yourselves, and if things start to weigh you down? Just remember that you survived 2020, so you’re technically invincible.