Headline Junkie: 31 July '23
USA Steals Real Fruit Ice Cream
The land of the free have stolen something (and no, I’m not talking about land this time). The New York Times published an article last week describing how the classic Kiwi summer treat of real fruit ice cream has undergone a “sugary American makeover”, which includes adding additional sugar to the dessert and toppings such as oreos, gummies, and sprinkles. According to the article, the increase in demand for real fruit ice cream in the states has been driven by the increase in US tourists to NZ. Angie Morrison, owner of a successful real fruit ice cream shop in the Tasman region told the NZ Herald that the American take on the iconic dessert is “definitely butchering the product. Americanising it and making it unhealthy. There are already outlets who do ice creams where you can put all sorts on it.” President Biden has been contacted for further comment.
Break up with Twitter—She’s Now Your ‘X’
Twitter’s new daddy Elon Musk has rebranded the social media platform we once knew as Twitter to X. Users of the app discovered that the familiar bird logo had been swapped for a minimalistic black X last week, to signify the app’s new ownership under Musk’s X-Corp. "The Twitter name made sense when it was just 140 character messages going back and forth […] but now you can post almost anything, including several hours of video. In the months to come, we will add comprehensive communications and the ability to conduct your entire financial world,” Musk wrote in a tweet (YES I’M STILL CALLING IT THAT). The reception of the change has been mixed, with one user writing, “This whole X thing is identical to the failed attempt to rebrand Vic Uni a few years ago.” Fellow bird, the Duolingo Owl, is yet to issue a statement on the matter.
Football Ferns Strike Out Against the Philippines
Aotearoa’s football ferns faced a dismal 1-0 loss against the Philippines’ Women’s National Football Team last week, just a couple of days after the Ferns’ historic win against Norway. Over 30,000 fans packed into the Cake Tin last Tuesday to cheer on the teams. The Philippines' Sarina Bolden scored the winning goal 23 minutes into the match, securing the team’s first ever win in the FIFA Women’s World Cup. “We played to win today and it didn't go our way,” said the Ferns’ coach Jitka Klimková, “[...] we were fighting to the end but it was not enough. We were missing that little piece in our execution.” The Ferns are set to play a make-or-break match against Switzerland on Sunday (don’t ask us for the score, we go to print on Thursdays).
Highest Number of Uni Drop Outs Since 2014
The Ministry of Education confirmed last week that students are fucking over it, with university course completion rates dropping from the 2020 high of 89% to 86%, the lowest course completion rate since 2014. According to RNZ, a number of factors have resulted in the decline, such as the post-covid effects of online learning. The cost of living crisis has been cited as a major cause by universities, who say that students are having to put more time into earning an income to support themselves and their families instead of studying. Covid has been really difficult for students in general and that has had a really disproportionate impact on different student communities,” VUWSA President Jessica Ye told RNZ. “Covid has really tested the way students learn as well and online learning has been really difficult. It's been a relatively unsupported environment for academics to teach to students.” The trend has been felt across the tertiary sector, with the University of Waikato, AUT, VUW, and Otago University all reporting significantly lower pass and course completion rates over the past few years.