Headline Junkie: 24 July '23

Wonka Watch: Timothée Chalamet is Willy Wonka in Whimsical Prequel ^Wonka

The first trailer for Wonka recently dropped online and it has split the internet over Timothée Chalamet’s performance as the titular chocolatier. Directed by Paul King of Paddington fame, the film is a prequel to Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, though it is yet unclear where Timmy Wonka fits into the wider Wonka-verse. Is he a younger version of Gene Wilder’s goofy 1971 Wonka, or Johnny Depp’s more sinister 2001 portrayal? Who knows. As a result, debate has ensued online about whether Chalamet is whimsical enough for the role, or if his aloof performance combined with his twinky mystique fails to portray Wonka for the madman that he is. He is joined by a star studded cast, including Olivia Colman, Rowan Atkinson, and Hugh Grant, who appears as everyone’s favourite allegory for chattel slavery: the Oompa Loompa. The film will hit cinemas on 15 December.

Countdown Rebrand 

Countdown is set to turn back the clocks this summer—but not on their prices. The supermarkets are set to rebrand back to Woolworths, a name that hasn’t been seen since 2011. Countdown’s parent company, supermarket giant the Woolworths Group, said the rebrand of all 194 of its Aotearoa stores would cost more than $400 million over the next three years. It comes after scrutiny over Countdown’s role in Aotearoa’s supermarket duopoly, with a Commerce Commission recent market study finding the giants make over $480 million a year in excess profits. Meanwhile, students continue to struggle to afford the cost of cheese thanks to cozzy livs.

Big Week for Film Enjoyers: Barbie Out in Cinemas

In case you somehow haven’t heard, Thursday last week marked the release of one of the year’s most highly anticipated films: Barbie, directed by Greta Gerwig. Its promotional campaign has made this news pretty hard to miss, with billboards going up around town, buses in Auckland going viral for their ^Barbie decals, and the global press tour colouring cities around the world pink. Barbie fans streamed into Wellington’s cinemas to tune into the [???] experience, and were [???] by Margot Robbie’s [???] performance as Barbie. Ryan Gosling’s Ken was a [???] for viewers, who were treated to his existential and haunting ballad ‘I’m Just Ken’, in which he [???]. Tickets for screenings remain scarce in most cinemas. Greta Gerwig is a certified genius. 

This was written prior to the release of Barbie, so fill in the blanks.

National Party Announces New Rental Policy Allowing Bonds to Come Out of KiwiSaver

Hallelujah! The National Party have flown to the aid of students’ rental woes, with a new, no-evidence based policy that will allow people under 30 to dip into their KiwiSaver funds for rental bond money. The scheme would be capped at five years, and the money has to be either returned to KiwiSaver or passed onto a new property bond. “This is a common sense change that will make it easier for people to pay for bonds, and free up cash for young people. Young people have told me they’d like to have the option of using their KiwiSaver savings to sort their bond payments, and that this policy will make a difference,” said the National Party’s Finance spokesperson, Chris Bishop. Because what students really want is to borrow from their own meagre savings to pay for living costs. The policy has been met with criticism by many, including the Green Party. Tertiary Education spokesperson Chlöe Swarbick said it has the potential to drive up the cost of rental prices.