Ōrite

Words by Ashleigh Putt-Fallows (She/her/ia - Ngāpuhi, Ngāti Whātua, Tūhoe)

Ōrite: Identical, sameness.

I grew up in Murihiku, part of Ngāti Tahu (Kāi Tahu); despite the area's perceived Māorilessness and rampant racism, our Māori culture persists. With just a 15% Māori population, I don't blame others for their perceptions. Being visibly Māori often requires falling into stereotypes.

I grew up separate from my iwi, hāpu and whenua. I spent 17 years over 1,000km away, missing out on marae visits, learning iwi traditions, karakia, waiata, speaking a distinct reo and whakawhanaungatanga.

I am Pākehā. Māori doesn’t have a look, but as humans, we have bias, and people looking at me would not usually assume I’m Māori. For every piece of Māori cultural wear, koru-covered jewellry and Māori volunteer role I take up, I have a feature more associated with my European side to match.

I’m Takatāpui (surprise to my mates). I rarely discuss my identity due to the complexity around Māori-Pākehā identity and sexuality. Navigating a Māori identity is tough without adding intersectional identities, educating others, and appropriating to the mix. 

As a rangatahi, our evolving social culture grants global access, but outsiders also claim authority on Māori identity, appearance, and culture, often disrespectfully.

These compounding things tend to give me imposter syndrome with my identity and bring on the “not Māori enough” feeling. I don’t know enough reo or the right reo, I’ve never been to my whenua, I don’t know enough about iwi, I don’t “look” Māori enough, I’m not from the right area to be culturally aware enough. How can I have an intersectional identity with a Māori identity when I am not Māori enough, to begin with? Especially when I am told this online consistently. These feelings are common amongst Māori, but they shouldn’t be. Why should we feel less than in our own identities? 

We are not equal with our society, and in some cases, we are not equal with each other, yet for some reason, we let a society that mistreats us dictate what “Māori enough” is. It's unfair to us and disconnects us from who we really are. We are not identical, but we don’t have to be, and we shouldn’t be forced into a box. This feeling and attitude forced onto us only do us a further disservice. This feeling has made me too anxious to engage further in my reo, engage with Māori groups or activities, or engage with my iwi. It's made me feel like I don’t belong in these spaces and that I am not entitled to myself. This disconnects me further. 

I have learnt that this isn’t right but it's also not an easy fix or something others will fix for me. I want equality and equity, but I must take action if I want to give that to my true self right now. I need to acknowledge that despite all that I have mentioned, I still know my reo, my Tikanga; I had my Māori community in Murihiku, and I was a kaikaranga, a kaitiaki of our kapa haka rōpū. I know our kōrero, our celebrations, and I work in multiple positions that support and uplift our people and culture, but most importantly, I know my blood, my whanau, my tūpuna, and I can feel it. To truly engage with me, I need to afford myself the luxury of equality and accept that I am enough, just as you are enough, just as we all are enough despite every difference, despite every way society says we aren’t.  

Ōrite: equal, similar.

Ōrite: taurite, ōrite

I tipu ake au ki Murihiku, i roto o Ngāti Tahu (Kāi Tahu). Ahakoa te hanga kore o te Māori, me te heahea o te kaikiri, e ora tonu ana te ahurea Māori ki reira. 15 paihēneti noa iho o ngā tāngata he Māori, nā whai anō te pōhēhē rā, kua kore te ahurea Māori. E Māori ai te tū, ka mate ki te whakatinana i ngā whakaaro horapa kino.

Kīhai au i tipu i te taha o tōku iwi, tōku hapū me tōku whenua. Neke atu i te 17 tau ahau e noho tawhiti ana i te wā kainga. Mahue tōku haere ki te marae, te ako i ngā tikanga o tōku iwi, ngā karakia, ngā waiata, te reo me ngā mahi whakawhanaunga.

He Pākeha au - taku pōhēhē. Kāore he āhua tō te Māori. Heoi ko ngā whakaaro haukume, ka matapae te tangata ehara au i te Māori. He nui aku tāonga Māori me aku mahinga kaupapa Māori, he pērā anō hoki taku kawe i ngā taonga me ngā kaupapa o taku whakapapa nō Ūropi.

He takatāpui au (he mea ohorere ki ōku hoa). Kāore au e kaha kōrero mō tōku tuakiri, nā te uaua. He uaua te kōrero mō te tuakiri Māori - Pākeha me te hōkakatanga. He uaua te whai ki te whakatipu i tō tuakiri Māori, heoi ka uaua ake ki te tāpirihia tō whai māramatanga mo tō hōkakanga. Ka uaua kē atu ki te whakaako, ki te whakamārama i ēnei āhuatanga ki tangata kē atu.

I te ao o te rangatahi, ko te ao whānui kei te kapu o ō tātou ringa, heoi kua kokorahotia te tuakiri, te āhua me te ahurea Māori anō hoki e ētahi. He āhuatanga takahi tangata i te nuinga o te wā.

Nā ēnei ahuatanga kua rongo au i toku ake raparapa me te anipā ki tōku ake tuakiri. Ka taka ngā whakaaro, ehara au i te Māori tūturu. Kāore au i te mōhio ki te reo. Kāore au i te mōhio ki ōku whenua. Kāore au i te mōhio ki tōku iwi. Kāore taku hanga i te Māori. Kāore ōku hononga ki ētahi takiwā. Ka pēnei rawa nā ngā kōrero ka whiua mai i runga ipurangi.

He nui ngā Māori e whakaaro pēnei ana, heoi me kaua. He aha i pēnei ai ngā whakaaro, kia tānoatia ō mātou ake tuakiri? Kaore i te taurite mātou mana ki te pāpori, ā, i ētahi wā kāore i te taurite ki a tātou anō. Ahakoa tērā ko tangata kē kei te whakatau mai ko wai he Māori. Kāore he hua o tēnei waiaro, me ēnei kare ā-roto. Nā ēnei kare ā-roto kua anipā rawa au ki te whai i te reo, ki te haere ki kaupapa Māori, ki te haere ki ngā kaupapa ā-iwi hoki. Nā whai anō kua rāwahotia au me te mea nei ehara nōku tōku tuakiri Māori. Ka tōia atu anō au kia tawhiti ake i tōku tuakiri Māori.

Kia pono aku korero, ahakoa ēnei āhuatanga katoa, e mōhio tonu ana ahau ki tōku reo me ōku tikanga. Kei au tōku hāpori Māori ki Murihiku, ā, ko au hoki tētehi o ngā kaikaranga, kaitātaki o tō mātou kapa haka. E mōhio ana ki a mātou kōrero, a mātou kaupapa whakahirahira. Ko ōku mahi, he mahi hāpai, whakahiki i ngā tangata, me tō tātou ahurea Māori. Heoi, ko te mea nui, e mōhio ana au ki tōku whakapapa, tōku whānau, ōku tīpuna. Kei te rongo hoki au i a rātou. E mārama ai te tangata ki au, me ahua pai ōku whakaaro e pā ana ki ahau anō, kia whakaū, he hua ōku. He hua anō hoki ōu. He hua anō hoki tō tēnā, tō tēnā ahakoa ngā rerekētanga me ngā whakaaro pōhēhē a ētahi atu. 

Ōrite: taurite, ōrite.