Where Do The Pigeons Play?

Matthew Casey (He/Him)

New Zealand is home to one of the most beautiful pigeons in the world—the Kererū. You sometimes see them up Kelburn ways. This glorious bird is the only living pigeon which is native to mainland New Zealand. Our nation's only other native pigeon being its very closely related, Chatham Islander cousin, the Parea. The Kererū, our 2018 champion for Bird of the Year, is a valuable part of our native ecosystem. Their ability to spread seeds is integral to the regeneration of our native forests. They’re not endangered and spend their days getting drunk off of fermented fruit.

“Ooooooh the Kererū is sooooo cool” you may say, but what about its cousin that no one loves?

The Rock Dove, The Flying Rat, Columba livia, a bird of many talents, the Feral Pigeon. Jack from Coronation Street used to have them as pets. Pokemon #016, the Pidgey is named after these beauties. The most hype Nike sneaker of all time, Jeff Staple’s collab “Pigeon” SB Dunks, are an homage to these specimens. You see them everywhere from foraging through bins at uni, to foraging through bins on Cuba Street. There’s no good stats out there, but I reckon we’ve got a ratio of three pigeons for every one Wellingtonian.

With the nation in lockdown, I had a lot of time to think. We’re not accidentally leaving pie crumbs at the bus stop or utilizing the public bins anymore. In an environment where the majority of their food is sourced from us, my question is, are the pigeons eating good? 

There was a fabled Vic Deals post about how to look after the pigeons during level 4. Sadly, due to powers outside of my control, the post has disappeared faster than a girl I'm courting at a house party when I tell her that Pitbull is in my top 10 artists. I was all a bit lost, so I decided to reach out to a panel I highly regard, my Instagram followers. A very commonly held belief was that the entire COVID-19 situation was a facade for the government to have enough time to recharge the pigeon’s batteries. This would allow them to resume their role as pigeon spies in the CBD. 

I’m not validating these claims in any way but I have noticed some birds wearing lanyards on Lambton Quay with their key card, indicating they are bureaucrats.

My mate Emile reckons that there is actually a pigeon council hidden away and it frightens him. The pigeons are all perched up, deciding who they will poo on when the world is back to normal.  Another thing I heard were reports from fellow concerned weird people who care about what’s happening with the Rock Doves. They have noticed there are a lot less when they walk down to New World Metro, they’re seeing even less when they stay at home and are watching tv.

So, which higher-ups actually care about these infamous feathered friends? When I approached Forest and Bird NZ, they said, and I quote: “I think WCC are in charge of the city pigeons. Def not us, tho.” I then gave Wellington City Council a call—they are, in fact, these pigeons’ local council. Since they do not have a pigeon health and wellbeing department, the council did not have the most in depth information about what is happening to them. They did however inform me that the amount of rubbish generated is down. There are still pigeon feeders who are popping up and making it their duty to provide the pigeons with some sustenance. Shoutouts to these people doing it out of love for the pigeons. 

I was able to get in contact with Colin Miskelly, an ornithologist from Te Papa. He told me that the current COVID-19 situation would not really affect birds as a whole. In the case of the Myna bird, commonly found further north, they have moved from eating road kill insects to eating insects on farms because there are less vehicles on the roads, so less roadkill.

He did tell me that he had seen one case of a large amount of pigeons in someone's driveway on the Abel Smith Street end of The Terrace. He said pigeons are likely congregating at private residences to get their food. Since everyone is at home, there is enough time for people, who care enough, to actively feed pigeons. This reaffirms the council's stance that there are people out there who make it their duty to feed the pigeons. That’s why you will not see them in Te Aro Park a.k.a Pigeon Park. They have simply moved on to where they can get food. I asked if they would be getting skinnier: the answer, paraphrased—not really, because they’ll get their feeds elsewhere. 

Judging from my multiple passing ons from organisations, people widely are not that fussed about pigeons. The Feral Pigeon is deemed to be a pest bird species here in New Zealand. Despite my newly found passion for pigeon wellbeing, it is understandable that people don't like them. There’s concern about them being able to carry disease, their faeces can ruin your brand new I.AM.GIA jacket, and they might just annoy you. 

We’re in some dark days, we can’t smash a box of mavs with the boys or even have a cheeky little High School Musical and wine night with the girls. But please, I urge you, think of the pigeons. They probably don't care but maybe, just maybe, they could be talking about you at their weird pigeon council, deciding whether or not they ‘gift’ you their faeces for ‘good luck’.

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