Destination Wellington
Lachlan Ewing (he/him)
In these uncertain times, I often find solace in the words of the poet Dizzee Rascal. I was particularly struck by an uplifting verse recited over an honest, raw synth, building to crescendo:
“Get your passport and your bikini
You need a holiday, come see me
I know you're tired of the same old scenery
And I could change all that so easily”
The rest of the world is closed to us, with clouds of apprehension and anxiety swirling. Rent likely consumes 80-100% of your Studylink living costs. Understandably, a holiday may be the last thing on your mind. However, a perfect, affordable destination to avoid the second week come-down is right on your doorstep: our very own Wellington.
Accomodation
Wellington offers a plethora of accommodation options to the student holidaymaker, from the rustic to the downright dank. High end, younger travellers may opt to stay in one of the University’s halls of residence. At $400+ a week, they are an absolute steal! A top recommendation is Weir House. Weir gracefully straddles Wellington’s past and present. There is the old-school charm of columns and ghosts, with Weir being regularly cited on reputable blogs as one of Wellington’s “Top Ten Haunted Sites!” An anonymous resident reported thick clouds of mango flavoured mist billowing from windows, and moans heard late into the night. This antiquity is complemented by the newer James Hutchinson wing, up to date with Wellington’s latest architectural trend of shutting down for earthquake stabilisation. Be wary not to be caught in the crossfires of tribal rivalry. Hall residents are known to react viciously to rival residents entering contested areas such as the safety bus and Siglo deck. If you are not careful, you may find yourself struck by a stinging “up the fuckin poon!” Ouch.
To truly immerse yourself in the local culture, however, consider staying in one of Wellington’s student flats. Whether you’re a shoebox apartment Sharon, or a rotting villa Reggie, there is something for everyone (who replies to an offer within the first five minutes, can provide four character references and is willing to compromise on legal rights). While they may lack the legacy of Dunedin’s famous flats, they compete with them in coldness and far exceed them in price. You are sure to be the envy of your highschool friends’ next drinks when they hear how rough you live in Wellington. Basic packages are available from $200-250 per week. Optional extras include electricity and gas.
Activities
Unlike adequate accommodation, there are an abundance of fun things to do and see in Wellington, that won’t hurt the wallet.
Zealandia
When asked to recommend a favourite spot, student Tom Andrews didn’t hesitate to name Zealandia. Half an hour’s walk, or a short bus ride from Kelburn Campus, Zealandia is the world’s first fully-fenced urban ecosanctuary. It is home to over forty species of native bird, from kiwi to kākā to kererū. Tom took his girlfriend there on their first date, and “loved seeing the rifleman, as it is such a cute little ball”. Apparently, the bird sounds are “both angelic and intriguing”. A student may balk at the $19.50 admission. However, it is the equivalent of sacrificing twelve cruisers. The entire admission funds the future of biodiversity in NZ, and you may even be lucky enough to find a Tuatara, or love.
Hawkins Hill
If you prefer to get your kicks for free, a walk up Hawkins Hill is this writer's top recommendation. Head up to the Brooklyn wind turbine, and keep going into the hills on Hawkins Hill Road. The climb to Hawkins Hill, 495m above sea level, offers the best panoramic views of Wellington around. Forget about Mount Vic—at 196m, that’s little league in comparison. Wellington’s premier dog retreat is also nestled in these rugged hills. V Woofington’s is a large castle that offers luxury dog stays. I don’t quite understand it, but it is a wonder to behold. A vainglorious attempt at canine immortality; a beacon from which to broadcast lonesome howl to the Southern skies. In addition, there is a huge radar ball at the top of the hill, views of the South Island, a track that continues to the South Coast, and WWII bunkers. On a clear day, head for the hills for a megadose of the weird and wonderful.
Pub Quiz
The highlight of the week’s night life is Tuesday night at the JJ Murphy’s pub quiz. Kicking off at 7:30 p.m., it pays to arrive early for this eight course degustation of trivia. Relax into a homely timber booth. Don’t stress about winning the quiz, as the same three teams of septuagenarians rotate among the podium positions every week. However, there is grog to be won for comedic answers, so be sure to bring your wits.
Dining
All of this walking, drinking, and quizzing is sure to leave you hungry. If you are craving a break from hall/flat food, try these local’s favourite spots:
Tom Andrews, Golden Gate Takeaways
“A more homely alternative to Mt Vic chippery” is how Tom described Golden Gate. For cheap, tasty fish and chips, this is a go-to. On the corner of College Street and Cambridge Terrace, Golden Gate is handy to Oriental Bay and the boat sheds, Central Wellington’s premier fish and chip consuming locations. Tom had always found the boat sheds intimidating and stereotypical. When he got up there with some mates, a bottle of wine and his Golden Gate bundle of joy, however, everything changed. The sun set on a stressful week and they experienced a “lovely decompression”. Tom realised that Wellington had, at last, made itself his second home.
Serena, Seoul Salon
Serena discovered a hidden gem tucked away on Willis Street. On the same block as well-known establishments like The Arborist, Capital Market, The George, and Burger Liquor, Seoul Salon seems to fly under the radar. The cuisine is described as “contemporary East Asian, mostly Korean and Japanese with a twist.” Very little on the menu is above $20, and Serena raved about the delicious vegetarian options, especially the gochujang sauce, which was “like a delectable firework in your mouth.” Serena found the service amazing and caring, and enjoyed a wholesome vibe. Be sure to try the umeshu, a Japanese plum wine.
Sven, Sweet Mother’s Kitchen
Sven made my job easy, and had a lot to say about his favourite restaurant. Here is a small excerpt: “Down past that wretched hive of scum and villainy—Courtney Place—stands Sweet Mother's Kitchen like an oasis in the desert. It is the single best reason to walk that stretch. When I first came to Wellington, my drama teacher took my class to Sweet Mother’s. It's my happy place. You're immediately accosted by Mardi Gras decor. The menu follows suit: Cajun staples peppered with Latin and Mexican favourites. Get the Cuban (with cumback sauce on the side), the prawn Monica, and some Hush Puppies alongside your curly fries. Finish with beignets—always beignets. It's all divine, of course, but someone said something about loving despite instead of loving because. I love Sweet Mother’s despite the grimy toilet, the sometimes slow service, the sometimes too-low frying temperatures leading to pale fries, and the sometimes forgetting to renew their liquor license in time for Wellington On a Plate. It is like your mother’s warmth: soothing for your body and soul.”
There is always something to do in the coolest little capital, and it doesn’t always have to be your readings or binge drinking. Give yourself a break, and go enjoy our city. As that ominous concrete slab by the waterfront reminds us:
^It is true you can’t live here by chance,
you have to do and be, not simply watch
or even describe, this is the city of action,
The world headquarters of the verb—^