Love In The Metropolis

Is being in love off-limits for the non-committal? 

Like me, a lot of you may have grown up watching romantic comedies centred around metropolitan yo-pros who considered themselves too smart and practical to fall in love. These characters harp on about how love is a burden, a commitment for the bored and unambitious. Friends With Benefits (2011) is set in New York City and follows fuck-buddies played by Justin Timberlake and Mila Kunis who insist that love would complicate their lives … all the while falling head over heels for one another. No Strings Attached (2011) is set in Los Angeles, where Ashton Kutcher and Natalie Portman portray characters that follow a similar contrived plotline. 

Movies like these lump love and commitment together, pitting them against independence and career progression. 

We’ve conflated being in love with being in a committed relationship. I believe this ideology places love on an achievable pedestal for the average student. 

Many of you may struggle to commit to a major, let alone a career path, let alone a person. 

Some of us are genuinely scared of commitment. Others find commitment unattainable because we’re busy and don’t have time or energy to spare. I don’t know how we are meant to watch our lectures, go to work, cook ourselves dinner, reconfigure our career paths to fit a ‘post-pandemic’ world, and still have the motivation to pursue and maintain a committed relationship. 

Point being: commitment issues are ubiquitous amongst students. As a result, when we fall in love with someone, we don’t feel comfortable claiming that emotion if we don’t want to be in a relationship with them. Instead, we settle for terms like “really liking them”, “fucking with them”, or “just vibing”. Even when our feelings for them are deep and powerful, going far beyond the realm of a crush. The words “I love you” feel sacred to the point where they’re untouchable. 

I propose we dismantle our association of love with commitment and come up with a fit-for-purpose definition of love that suits our hectic lifestyles. Falling in love as a student can mean opening yourself up to experiencing love in all of its intense beauty while still prioritising yourself and retaining your independence. Diving into situations that weren’t built to last didn’t bring me stability, but did bring me joy. Love is often fleeting, so ~carpe diem~ and seize love while it's still here. 

This week’s issue is for the lovelorn, lovedrunk, and lovesick. 

In our features: Lauren finds out what men think about love, Bridget reflects on being a third wheel, Joanna explains what behaviours can give someone the ‘ick’, Maia unpacks how her conception of love was influenced by Disney, and I dish out my best dating advice. 

In our news section: VUWSA’s fights to prevent the Student Services Levy from being raised, Vic Books Pipitea closes its doors, Aotearoa experiences a ‘brain drain’ where our graduates are flocking overseas, and we sit down with Tory Whanau for the first of our mayoral candidate interviews. 

I hope you’re staying cosy this cuffing season <3