05: Praise be to Condoms
New Zealanders are not using enough condoms. This is a shame, because condoms are an excellent, all-rounder bit of sex technology. Those who can use condoms during sex should reach for them like a blanket on a cold night.
2019 data from the Ministry of Health shows a lack of consistent condom usage. Their report found that “over half (57%) of people who had at least two sexual partners in the previous year didn’t use a condom every time they had sex.” According to Durex’s last released data in 2017, NZ has a condom usage rate of 26%, making it the third worst out of 36 countries (alongside the UK).
Condoms are a bit of admin to use, and they’re expensive if you haven't been near any of those free condom bowls around campus for a while. But, seeing as they prevent STIs like no other, and are an incredibly effective contraceptive—why aren’t we using condoms?
Here are some crowd-sourced commonly used excuses around the time of sex, and some troubleshooting tips:
“I don’t have one on me”
Go to the shops. Unashamedly ask your flat mate. Keep a box under your bed, or in the bathroom. As a backup, hide some in weird places like you sometimes hide $5 in a pocket, and then feel like a Lotto winner when you find it. Give yourself the gift of safe sex.
“I got checked since I last had sex dw”
This can precipitate a decision-making crisis between blind faith and launching a full scale investigation pre-bumping uglies. It’s very difficult to get proof without looking at health records. Just use a condom.
“It’s all good I’m on PrEP”
PrEP only protects against HIV, and not all the other infections running around town. Don’t be silly, wrap your willy.
“It doesn’t fit”
There are many sizes of condoms available to fit any size schvatz. This is a case of carrying some that fit you, or having a range. No penis is too big for a condom.
“Pull out?”
No. The ‘pull out method’ is not effective and doesn’t prevent STIs, which is not hot or horny. It’s not really much of a method anyway, it’s a slapdash. And if it goes wrong you need to be prepared to pay up for the ECP. Condoms are cheaper than the ECP, and also a baby.
“I’m on the pill so it doesn’t matter”
Also doesn’t protect against STIs. And it shouldn't be completely up to one person to be the full-time Contraceptive Manager. It’s a lot of responsibility to take hormones at the same time every day, and to deal with possible side effects of taking those hormones.
“It doesn’t feel as good”
Condoms are a pretty cool piece of technology and are really rather thin. Use lube. Go fuck yourself instead.
Some people are allergic to latex, and that understandably makes condom usage trickier. There are latex-free alternatives and it might be a case of getting some from your doctor.
A lot of these excuses come down to lack of preparation. And so maybe it’s a good time to sit down and ponder some boundaries, and why you’re not choosing or prioritising condoms, given their greatness.
This week’s issue is all about sex becuase it’s VUWSA Sex Week (see back cover for info). We’ve written about the rise of step porn, sexuality in art, period sex, and even talked to a patient who had a rare strain of chylmida.
Safe sex everybody,
Sally Ward (she/her) and Matthew Casey (he/him)