Social Media: Our queer educator

Words by K

I remember the girls and boys playing ‘kiss, kiss, yuck, yuck’ at school. I’m sure some of you remember it too. Boys would chase girls and try to get the girls to kiss them. The  boys always chased my sister. They never chased me… I never wanted them to. I couldn't understand why the girls were so obsessed with having boyfriends, and trying to get the boys attention. We were just kids. 

Fast forward to about 12 years old, I got Instagram. It was a flood of social information with basically no supervision. Our parents had no idea what it was. Social media was my sex ed and my primary educator on the very concept of being LGBTQIA+. 

For years before getting instagram, I believed the only way someone could have feelings toward a female was if they were male. So, in my very rational pre-teen brain, I believed I had to be a male. I had no idea what being transgender really was. 

With my new access to social media, I was completely overwhelmed with information about who I could be. I tried out label after label for the next few years. Transgender, lesbian, bisexual, pansexual. Nothing fit. I couldn't explain to myself what justified each label. I just knew that I wasn't ‘traditional’. When I pictured a partner for my future self, I imagined a personality rather than a person.

I look back at those years of silent struggle and I am disappointed. I’m sure there were many other kids in the same boat as me, yet we had no way to learn safely and accurately about our identities. Schools say they encourage us to express our individuality and be our own person, but how are kids expected to navigate sexuality and gender identity safely without support?

It wasn't until early 2020 that the New Zealand school system encouraged schools to allow students to actively choose their pronouns and names. Ministry of education stated in the new education guidelines that schools should “include content on the diversity of sex characteristics, sexuality, and gender identities in their curriculum programmes.”

But herein lies a problem. I’ve found that there has been no steady programme or materials available to teachers when approaching this very large and complex topic. There is a way to educate about this topic responsibly and accurately, but it seems this has been tossed in the too-hard basket. I’m sure many of you can remember how your sexual education in early high school was anything but thorough. For me, it was a few sessions dotted in-between PE class where the teacher showed us vague videos about the vagina and penis. 

Where are the materials for teachers? And where is the time allocated to teach this important topic? Urgent educational support is needed for our young people to truly understand themselves and their peers. More resources will ultimately create a safer environment for our rainbow youth that already face such a hard time. 

Show us the education. Show us the curriculum. Show us the materials. Show us the support.

Sincerely,

The confused 12 year old girl who struggled when she didn't have too.