Salient Reviews: Sex Toys

Words by the Salient Team

Adding a sex toy to your sex routine—be that with a partner, two, or on your own—levels up your sex life. The Salient Team has reviewed their favourite (or least favourite) toys for your reading pleasure and to help you know what to look for  when buying your own. Read at your own risk of TMI.

Happy orgasms xx 

Suker Vibe (Purple)
RRP $49.95 (was $59.95) Adulttoymegastore (ATMS)

The pro of this vibe is dual stimulation, and it goes hard. The cons? It might be a personal opinion, but the ^size of this. When I bought it, I wanted something for clit stimulation first and foremost—and a bit of attention for the G-spot never hurts. Maybe I’m not being creative enough, but I haven’t yet worked up the courage to try both functions out at once. This vibe is intimidating, but when you get the clit stimulation to sit just right, the O just rolls in. Jury is still out on the G-spot.

Tracey Cox Supersex Powerful Rechargeable Rabbit Vibrator (Penis Purple)
RRP $109.95 Lovehoney

This was my first experience using a vibrator, and I have to say, do you other vagina owners have calloused clits or am I just hyper sensitive? I wanted to feel loved and appreciated by my vibrator, but instead, I just felt pounded (not in a good way) and tossed aside. An object has objectified me. Based on size alone, it’s definitely not worth the original retail price. It’s like the vibe equivalent of one of those itty bitty travel size shampoo bottles. Disappointed because my boyfriend no longer thinks he has competition. 

Lovehoney Advanced Unisex Strap-On Harness Kit (3 Piece)
RRP $64.95 Lovehoney

Listen, I’ve used some shit strap-ons in my time and this one is certainly not one of them. It’s solid. The harness sits snugly and firmly against your thighs when you tighten the straps, and the curved dildo it comes with is 10 /1 0. As my recently re-acquainted ex said the other night, “No one uses the strap quite like you.” I credit this specific strap-on for that. Just remember to use water-based lube and condoms for play time, or you’ll degrade the silicone overtime.

Lelo Sona (Pink)
RRP: $199.95 (was $249.95) ATMS

Lelo, I love you! I know what you’re thinking: far out, that’s a hefty price. I agree. I got mine in a Black Friday sale for $100. But believe me, regardless of this, it’s worth it. It seductively sings to your clit (literally), using sonic waves to massage you into a deep relaxation. And it’s gorgeous. How much more chic and beautiful can a vibrator be? Weird thing to comment on, I know, but its shape makes it so perfect to rock back and forth in your palm. With eight stimulation modes and multiple strengths, you can customise each cum lol. Honestly, if you’re a person with a vulva and a clit: stop reading, just go buy one of these. It’s a game changer! 

DUREX Play Delight Vibrating Bullet
RRP: $38.99 Life Pharmacy 

Ahh, this vibe is a bit of a first true love for me! It’s a wonderful gateway toy for its price. I bought mine back in the 2020 lockdown from Countdown, of all places. My boyfriend and I were looking for a bit of spice to fuel our daily isolation smash sessions. For solo play, it’s also very nice and most definitely waterproof. It’s just a solid, reliable little bullet. That’s all I can say, really. It’s definitely a step up from my first sex toy, DUREX Play Vibrations Ring (also bought with the same partner). It has a solid tingle to it and is just the right shape to fit between, around, and inside all your, as Kath Day-Knight would say, “nooks and in unexplored crannies [and even help you find some more] you never knew [you] had.” Drop one in your cart next time you get groceries. 

Satisfyer Pro2 Rechargeable Clitoral Stimulator

RRP: $79.95 Lovehoney

Chances are you’ve heard of the Satisfyer Pro2. Is it really worth the hype? I bought this one as a post-breakup gift to myself. I was hoping for something that had as little resemblance to a penis as possible, and the giant, AirPod-looking Satisfyer Pro2 felt like a safe bet. I thought it might, at the very least, be better than the mediocre head I’d been receiving from my ex-boyfriend for four years prior. It’s overstimulating at first, but it does the job. It feels like someone going down on you, without the complications of having to fake an orgasm for a long-term boyfriend. At the end of the day, the Satisfyer is as overrated as a wannabe soft-boy musician. It’s the Hinge hook-up of sex toys.