Rating Lifts at Te Herenga Waka
Alice Mander | She/Her
Rating lifts at Te Herenga Waka. Alice Mander bringing you some much needed cripple content.
The Hunter Building Lift:
These are the GOAT lifts. They are the mother you never had, the sister you always wanted, and the family you always deserved. They are the only source of stability in my three years at University. I like these lifts because:
There are many of them
They are speedy.
You never have to wait for them to come and, if you’re too socially awkward to go in the lift with strangers, waiting for the next one is, like, totally do-able. The robot lady’s voice telling me that this is the “accessible route” makes me feel less alone in the world. Also, I like the sound the buttons make.
10/10
Lift in the Hub:
Why does this lift have the audacity to announce to the entire hub when I’m using it with its obnoxious ding? Why does this lift close its doors on me when I’m halfway out? Why does this lift not directly take me to the VicBooks platform (bitch, you know I’m too internally ableist to use the little moving platforms near Vic Books)?
3/10
Student Union Building:
The most ableist lift at University. Always broken. Awkwardly big. Like, have you ever stood in there with one other person? That shit is so intense that I was in there with a boy once and a security guard walked in and asked if he’d interrupted something. Bonus star for the girl in the picture on the wall looking like me.
1/10
Law School:
I respect the cage lift’s hussle and ^Rocky Horror^ vibes. But, I can’t open it and it was broken for years. The other lift is OK, except for two words: Law. Lecturers.
1/10
Any lift across the bridge at Kelburn:
If the house from the movie Monster House were more accessible, these lifts would be in there.
2/10
Rutherford House
There are so many floors that I feel guilty taking it one floor up even though I have no choice and that reminds me of internalised ableism and I don’t like it. Don’t know what the lift can do about that though.
Five stars though for the campus security staff who ride it. They’re really nice to me. I like them. You should say hi to them.
5/10
BONUS LIFTS
Dirty Little Secret
I like this lift because everyone must take it to get to the bar. The lift is the great equaliser.
10/10
Chow/The Library:
This may be a surprisingly high rating but I like its ambiguity and spunk.
6/10