Bakery Run: with TimProvise
By Matthew Casey (he/him)
Pies and New Zealand go together like Steak and Cheese. I do not care for ‘heritage buildings’ which are just creaky old buildings that produce mould faster than Roadrunner. The only heritage buildings I care for are those which house our bakeries, our culinary powerhouses. Everyone believes their local is the best—but one legend, a bakery connoisseur who goes under the name TimProvise, is taking on the task of really showing love to the bakeries of New Zealand.
This week, I’ve been fortunate enough to talk to one of New Zealand’s best content creators who hails from Clendon, 267. TimProvise is the host of The Provise Project podcast, ½ of The Shack, and perhaps most importantly, Bakery Run. Bakery Run is an online show which sees Tim and guests check out some of New Zealand’s most talked about bakeries, and see if they’re up to scratch.
“It’s just a raw cut of the bro, eating a pie and talking about it [...] it’s not plastic, it’s just how I am normally. I bring guests on, a mixture of celebrities and a bro from the hood, from Clendon, coming together to eat a pie, talk about that pie and what they’ve been up to […] It’s the hood Oprah, with some food.” Bakery Run guests ranging from world champion boxer Joseph Parker through to New Zealand infomercial queen Suzanne Paul.
He does it all with William Slingsby, Bakery Run’s producer/editor/director. “This whole thing wouldn’t work if it wasn’t for Will. I tell him this all the time but he tells me to shut up. He is, legit, the guy that does everything.” Tim credits Will for carrying the team. Will runs his own production company Off The Ground, which Bakery Run is produced under.
He uses an important ranking system, which originally was rating each pie out of 5, but has evolved into a more comprehensive /10 rating.
When reviewing pies, he looks at elements such as the flakiness of the pastry, and how many bites it takes to get to the steak.
Bakeries across the nation serve a glorious array of breads, sweets, and treats. Some bakeries are famous for their donuts, their service, and/or their location. It is simply imperative to rate a bakery on their pies, because—as Booma Tha God from SWIDT says—“The bakery is not about the bread, it’s about the bloody pie bro.”
Bakery Run always starts with eating a steak and cheese pie because, “if you don’t have a good steak and cheese at your bakery, the rest of your stuff is not going to be good. That should be your staple, that’s your go to [...] If you do a census of New Zealand, ask ‘what is your favourite pie?’, I will bet my life savings that it will come out as steak and cheese.”
In the 2020 Canstar survey, steak and cheese was ranked as New Zealand’s second favourite, very closely behind mince and cheese, which still highlights New Zealand’s love for these flavours. I have never been into cheese in my pie, but over 40% of New Zealanders like it more than any other way.
The origins of Bakery Run stem from when Tim was a Twitch streamer. He would have “full on, verbal arguments with people that would dispute that Clendon was the best bakery in New Zealand. Because I grew up with Clendon, that’s my jam”.
“if you don’t have a good steak and cheese at your bakery, the rest of your stuff is not going to be good.”
-TimProvise
Tim speaks very highly of the owner of Clendon Park Bakery, Mihn—“I was his soldier, and I would go at people online who would say otherwise”. Clendon Park is a notoriously claimed bakery. Back when I was very much into my pies, it always came highly recommended. When talking to my friend Joseph, he claimed it was the “Best bakery in AKL + the dude there is an absolute legend” highlighting how much Mihn has done to hold his space in New Zealand folklore. “Here’s the thing with Clendon, it’s good for the price you get it at—it’s a good budget pie.”
This show is for the people. Tim’s thoughts on people sending through suggestions is: “Sometimes you get good ones and sometimes you get bad ones, but the ones that really stick out to you. You think back and you go ‘that’s right, that person has told me about that place and now I respect his preferences [...] But then there’s some people, bro, and I’m like ‘fuck off, that is the worst.’”
How much does the drink matter when eating a pie? “It matters more then anybody knows [...] you have to get a drink, because when you finish the pie all of a sudden you’re like ‘fuck, I wish I wouldve gotten a drink ay’—so you always need to get on the cautionary tale.” “The go to [...] is the Golden Circle range, it’s probably the best you could go for—I say that because it’s cheap, it’s easy, it tastes good. A Golden Pash or a Tropical Punch, bro they hold true. If you’re a chocolate milk connoisseur, you can’t go wrong with the Nippys”.
Outside of his creative pursuits, Tim is a teacher. During the day he is an intermediate teacher, and in the afternoon he teaches computer skills to older people. “I have a very busy schedule, but I find time to do all these pursuits because I love them.” I’ve seen this man hustle, and there is no doubt in the passion he brings to the table. To balance such a hectic schedule is something that is unimaginable, but Tim does it to a high standard.
TimProvise is undeniably a future hall of famer with the content he’s putting forward. Make sure you check out new episodes of Bakery Run out on Mondays fortnightly on the Off The Ground NZ YouTube channel.